On the Other side, Between Lives.


As we began to compare our different experiences which seemed to show us the differences between soul development, mind development and spiritual development, we first began to remember impressions about a between lives place.  It seemed to be the same level as here, but we may have thought that, only because it was viewed as if outward, side to side compared the map of the mandala sphere.  It did not seem above us nor below.  But, it did not overlap with living on earth.  We had to go there, to access it.

I had had experiences, impressions, about my grandmother after her death.  In life, she had believed that God had laid down harsh and demanding rules of obedience for our behavior.  She had led in her mandated prayer, as if she was reporting to a God who would condemn and punish people, and she was trying to help people be better, by praying for us, for my mother in particular it seemed, for what she had seen to be Mother’s mistakes.  I felt Mother was “raked over the coals” that way, and unfairly so, really. I did not seem to be a target.  I may have heard Mother go home and tell my Dad that she had been “raked over the coals” again.

But hearing this, as a child, I thought God was like that.

By the time my grandmother had died, I was sure of myself that this was wrong, not true, and my grandmother, for all that I loved her in so many ways, was mistaken to pray that way.  I did not realize what prayer might be for me, until after my guiding dreams began.  And, soon after, 6 years after her death, I had begun to have impressions or dreams that my grandmother felt she was in Hell, and yet I could go to her and we could talk.  She seemed to have realized this had been a terrible thing for her to do, and she wanted to tell me she knew she had been wrong about it.  I saw her as if she was still older than when she died, blind, and deaf, although I could make her hear me, and she was an invalid in a bed, a small and inadequate, uncomfortable cot, really.

I gradually told her, no she was not in Hell, she was alone here, wherever “here” was, and it sure looked to me as if she was just punishing herself.  I seemed to visit her several times, and at times, fed her from a spoon, though I have no idea what I was feeding her, baby food, I think.   In time, she seemed to be recovering from her infirmities, looked younger, and healthier.  She seemed to tell me that, on the other side, they had the opportunity to review their lives, and to learn in the ways they had not when they were alive.  But, she seemed to feel that she should not forgive herself.

I began to tell her that I had gotten over thinking that God must be like that, condemning and punishing, and did not believe it, even if she had. I told her that God had forgiven her, and knew that she had meant well, but now she must realize that she was forgiven.  God does not punish us for such behavior, it is how we learn, and in fact, I even had learned from her very bad example. I did not really ever tell her I forgave her, but I think I acted that way.  It certainly seemed real to me that I was visiting her and talking with her.   These impressions or dreams went on for probably a couple of months, before she seemed to be “herself” again, and she could go out from where she was confining herself, to join with others.  I did not go with her, but we said our goodbyes then.  She was even younger than I had ever seen her to be.

Now, as a child I had strange experiences when I was quite young, as if I had seen dead people, and thought they were alive same as everyone else was alive. I did outgrow this.  I wrote about that in the postings on the Shrine of Hope. But, it was easy for me to think of this as real about my grandmother.  If I had tried to tell anyone about it, they might not have been so sure of it being real.  But, I had not told anyone until I told my spiritual partner about it.

With this, we both began to have impressions about going around in “the other side”, much as if to be curious, and to explore.  Most of our impressions were different, but clearly of the same place.  But in one, we had the same impression of one group of people.

There seemed to be enclaves of groups in it who seemed to believe they were in an exclusive kind of Heaven, and plateaued out to stay there.  They wanted it to be excluding, exclusive, better than others.  None of them seemed like any heaven to us.  We both saw one such group, as if they were more on an artificial height above others, and holding to the idea that sex was a terrible temptation, which they all had renounced for eternity, along with many other negatives about how to live.   But, they had not even achieved individual integration and had to come back and live sometime. But, to go to the other side, and to think they were in heaven, without reviewing their lives, seemed to be such a travesty on what might have been. This realm, dimension, as far as we both were concerned, was always seen in black and white.  We saw many other such larger and smaller heavens there, more than could be counted. All were excluding and exclusive.  Still some might need such a place in order to look into what they had believed.

But, other people were just coming and going, in a larger place, relating to each other, and coming along fine with reviewing their life to learn as they may not have when living.  They seemed to have self-reflective thought form bodies, which changed as they realized things.  I never saw anyone else I knew.  I do feel I can access this level, but what I see there will be what I should be aware of, not what I try to see.  If I might have been a medium, it seemed that would be a stopping point, a plateau, which would not be for me to do.  That still may mean that being a medium might be what someone else will do to relate to others, and to learn from.  I would certainly think so.

Next and above, distinctly separated from the other side, yet also reaching out in a here and now way, compared to the horizontal of the map of the mandala sphere, seemed to be a dimension or level of Soul Development.  We called it the Fellowship domain. We always saw this domain in color, with vivid living green in particular. I always saw the people there to be solid people, good people. Some had homes and lived lives there, as if it was a “time out” for them to go back over their own lessons learned, and to know where they stood, and what was to come next.  None seemed to be in a holding pattern, but in a necessary time out.  It seemed like my dreams which had left me with 3 or 4 years to digest and discover all the dream meant to me, it was that kind of time out for them.  If I had ever felt that I could have given up on my own self-discovery, and believed I had completed what was there for me, It would have been a comfortable dead end.

But, it seems to me that guidance ignored comes back in another way, and nags at us until we listen to it.  It can be in ideas, or feelings, repeated dreams, or even a sudden impression from other things around us.  But, I have seen people be absolute about having no time for such things, disbelief, or what have you, and let inner guidance almost be lost.  But, I also believe, inner guidance comes with a power to get through to us, even if we are turning a deaf ear at times.

We both had some memories of how we learned things which seemed to be soul development, which we shared, but I cannot think of any to retell right now.  We had impressions which I do remember.  Once, my partner dreamed he was driving a huge over-sized truck in that place, like a delivery truck.  The  vivid colors around him told him where he was.  But, the truck being over-sized was typical of there too, for us.  Others might have other ways it would appear, of course.

He was driving up hill rapidly, but had no idea where he was going, or what he was to deliver, or who might be receiving it.  But, he was doing this without question.

For me, I dreamed I had been made welcome in a home of one of the resident couples, and stayed over night with them, as if my night’s sleep had been there rather than in my own bed at home.  I had snooped in a dresser drawer, and found several hand written letters in my partner’s handwriting, expressing the kinds of things he might write to me.  These letters were NOT addressed to me, and I wanted them.  I hated to tell them that I had snooped, but I did, and I told them he was my spiritual partner now, and even though the letters were not written to me, asked if I could have them.  They hesitated about answering me, until suddenly, it dawned on me, I had been their daughter. There was a distinct energy shock in my body, realizing this, and again as I write it.  I did not remember them, they did not look like anyone I knew, but I had been invited there to reconnect to belonging there.  It came as a relief and a shock to me.  I felt that the letters were rightly my own, and they had told me so.  But, nothing had been said, it was just a waiting silence, and then it dawned on me that way.

I was asked this next appreciated question from prior communications, and want to edit and write from my response. This can be for my next blog posting.

Please share how you “see” Soul. Is it the same as or different from Higher Self, in your view? I hear you saying we created Soul, rather than Soul experiencing through “us.” It sounds like you see Soul as some might think of “a conscience.” I’m interested in your further perception of this.
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