The Father’s Household Dream, 1959 *14th in the Series.


I felt this earlier dream had been conclusive for me, but to my surprise the next dream came in 1959, three years later.  By then, my husband’s work had moved us half way across the country, as our children were in 9th grade, 6th, and just starting Elementary school.  I had only worked outside of our home until our first child had been born and then for intervals when his Mother had lived with us.  She had passed away while with another of her children, just before we moved.  I had sometimes worked at home, one part of which was to take care of two boys during the day, with my youngest.   Child care then was mostly privately arranged.

This dream came in 1959, and in a strange way.  I dreamed it as if I were experiencing a new chapter each night over several days.  It gave me a sense of long time intervals.  It again was like reviewing my life, but on a different scale or basis.  The same 4 sided structure was there, but it was as if it took place at a higher level.

      Father’s Household Dream1959, when I was 35

I came in from the “World of Men”, or from everyday life, as it might have been experienced by the Spirit.  I had memories of this life, or of living in general as it might be for anyone, and I was very tired of it.  It had been like the same thing over and over, and I wondered if it had ever gotten me anywhere, except just to get through it.

In that frame of mind, I had climbed up a long and wide stairway, to come to a very large palace-like place, which I called The Household of the Father.  It was meaningful that I saw it as the world of MEN, and the household of the FATHER, but I did not even notice that right then.  Each night when I had dreamed a portion, it seemed that segment might be all there would be to the dream.  I saw things in it to be realized.  I saw things in it, to take me on another time of reflection and change.  It seemed to apply to more than this life, but I saw the meanings, the things I tried to do, the kinds of relationships, but nothing to really call a specific past life.  But, there was that sense about it.  But then the dream went on and on.  I may write it in portions, I am not sure how to do this.  I have told and written the dream before, but never linked to what it meant to me, and the changes it led to in my life.

I always have gotten more from it each time I told it or wrote about it again.  I would expect this again.  All I can say now is that I will try to do it justice and write it as best I can.

The dream seemed to begin as I had already climbed the long steps, and was at the entrance of The Household of the Father.  I entered, not knowing what to expect, and not knowing if I would be allowed to enter like that.  I knew I was alive, and I knew it was a dream.  I had memories of where I had come from, but they were like a background to the dream, before it started.

I knocked, but no one answered, and in time, I just opened the door and walked in.  I was in a long and wide corridor.  It was all white, but cold, like marble.  Compared to the earlier dreams, I had entered from the spiritual position, even though from the World of Men at a lower level.  I took this to mean living with the Spirit inhabiting the body, or the spirit being awake in the body, living that kind of a life.

I looked around, and said aloud, “is anyone here?”, with no answer.  On my right, it was the side I said I had not looked at in the earliest dream, the side of the books in the Library dream, and the side of the old woman yammering, of my mind, in the River dream.   This side had a shimmering curtain I dared not, and believed I could not penetrate, but no doorway.

I went on to the far end of the corridor, and it opened into a garden, where there were children playing.  I was too old to go among them, but I saw them to be the children of God.  I wondered if I had forfeited this privilege, from my many fruitless years out in the world of men.  In the structure of the place, it was way above my own position of being a child in the torrent as seen in the River of Life.  It was also above where I was seen to be asleep in the study hall of my Library dream.   And it was also above the place from which I entered and then left for the first of these dreams, leaving as a child and with my husband as a child.

But, turning back to the opposite side from the shimmering curtain, I saw a large room.  It looked like a huge kitchen, where there were many servants, both men and women, doing all sorts of things.  This area was above the side I spoke of as the Soul’s place along the River of Life, where she was at first a dog with her puppies.   And then, with my spirit self entered into her, as a woman, she shoved the log in the river for the child to hang onto.   This side was also above the windows to the world, of the Library dream, where, outside and below, I heard and saw life going on in a good way.  And from the first dream, it was also above the side of the church doorway, and where the various rooms were with memory scenes from my own life, with all of their open doors.

I will insert this now.  Out of the layout of these dreams, I was seeing a pattern, a structure within which a process was taking place for me.  I had been seeing it all along, but with each dream it was more apparent.  Body, Mind, Spirit and Soul, staying in the same connections with each other, and each area of functioning was illuminating for the kind of functioning going on in that area or position.  I had in a relative way held a different entry point to each dream, and a different viewpoint and functioning in it, and looked to a different side or position of what would be that kind of functioning, in each guiding dream.

With the sense of this structure and position, it was the only place I wanted to enter.  I did enter, and tried to ask someone what I could do there.  But, they were all doing their own things, and apparently I could just pitch in too, however I might.   By the end of this first part of the dream, I entered, and just started to do some cleaning and kitchen work.   The place was huge, and it looked like an old monastery as I had once seen it in Europe on a vacation.  We cooked over a huge fireplace, and there was nothing modern anywhere.  I did not wonder about this, after all, it was just a dream.  The people knew I was there, they smiled at me, and made me welcome in that way, but actually, no one really spoke to me at all. They may have handed things to me if I asked, but I believe no one touched me.  But, I sort of made myself at home.  There was a sense of going back in time to this, as an example of what that position had meant to me over a long period of time.  Before long, I felt I needed to go on to whatever might come next.  But, in this dream, nothing seemed to unfold in front of me, it was as if whatever my choice or decision once was, I must realize it and make it again.  Do it again.

After what seemed to be a considerable amount of time and probably the next night in another dream, I decided and chose to take the meals to the children.  Some few others were doing this too.  Again, they recognized me joining them, but there was no physical contact or words spoken.  We also cleaned up after the children, once we were among them.  In one way the children did not live real lives yet, and did not need meals brought to them, but it had seemed to be the thing to do.  Also, like the real world, if they made a mess or destroyed something, it was a garden, and in due time, growth and replacement in the environment just happened.  We could pull weeds, or sweep up, but it was like doing this in a forest; it meant nothing really.  So after a while, the original feeling of the dream, of doing so much, and seeing it mean nothing, became my state of mind again.

Then, probably in a dream the next night, I saw some older kids, one boy in particular, being a bully to the smaller children.  In fact, these children had not seemed to ever get older and I wondered why he seemed bigger and older than the others did.  I looked on more at their behavior, and they were like ordinary children, yet as if they had been given utter freedom and privilege all of their lives, with no sense of responsibility into the relationships or the environment at all.  Some were innocent and played beautifully with one another.  But, that boy and others might have been called spoiled brats.  But I could not even think this about them, both for where they were, and as the Children of God.

Then, probably in a dream the next night, I finally got fed up with what he was doing, and I made him stop.  He had never heard the word NO, and was utterly furious with me.  He ran away, and running, he ran out into the World of Men.  I felt terrible about it.  Some of the others, who had become older in the time I had watched over them, had gone behind the shining curtain, and I thought of them as growing up still as the Children of God.

In a next dream the next night, I went out into the long corridor, and faced the shimmering curtain.  I felt I had been watched, probably judged from whomever or what ever was behind it.  I fell prone on the floor down on my face and began to cry, and confessed how sorry I was.  I considered it unforgivable.  I felt that what applied for me was the Bible quote about, whosoever hurts one hair of their heads, would be better to have a millstone hung around their neck, and be cast into the deepest sea.  I cried, and stated what I thought of as my defense, with never any response to me at all, until in the dream I fell asleep and the dream ended.

In the next night’s dream, when I seemed to wake up from having been asleep, I began to think this all over.   I stood up and faced the shimmering curtain, and said, I think I did what was right and necessary, and if I had to do it over, I would do the same thing again.  In a sense, I felt that was what I had been doing all along in this dream up to that point.  I was finally reaching the same decision and choice and course of action as I had at whatever time before.   It had been symbolic, not identical, but the same basic kind of decision and action.   I said, if I am to be judged to be in the wrong about this, please let me know why, and what I should have done instead.  Show me what would be the right way to go.

At that, in the same dream, the curtain began to blow, and changed into living, moving color.  I heard music, and though no voice spoke, I felt I was answered that this had been what I had done before.  It had been and was the right way to go, to have spoken and acted before and then.   I understood that this is how it works.  We learn from and teach each other, and that I too had been a child of God, and then in one way or another, I had left that perfect kind of existence, out into the world of men.  But we all do, we all have to do this.  Some do it willingly, others do it reactively, but we all must eventually do it.   Then eventually, we all come back sadder but wiser, disillusioned, and with a sense of failure.  Then, we come to realize that even that is something we all come to, eventually.  But that seemed to be the end of the segments of this dream.

I seemed to have a conclusion, insight, or illumination from this at this point.  God is like a Creator and Father to us all alike, we are in this together, and our growth and development is up to each of us for one another.  Others also will help us along.  But, I had in my real life come to have a personal one on one kind of relationship with God, and up to this point in my realizing what I must have known once before, I had not come to know this again in the dream.  It opened my mind to the idea that there is more to how God relates to us, a personal God, and it is not necessarily just in the way we think of God as creator and Father even though that is also the truth.  That just is not all there is to it.

I said I took no notice that it was the FATHER’S HOUSEHOLD, and the WORLD OF MEN. The life experiences I had looked back on had been like that, not like today’s world, where men and women are realizing that it need not be only that way.

But, instead of it being the end of this series of dreams, in the next night’s dream, I still stood there in front of this now colored and moving curtain of light.  So, I went through it.  Behind it, I saw teen-agers going back and forth into the World of Men, but they seemed to go out there with divine powers.  And they could and did work miracles.  But, they had bypassed the way all the rest of us went out into the World of Men.  We entered that world without a memory of our spiritual and eternal created nature.  They had never been one of those of us living out in the World of Men.  I thought of them as angels, and I thought of them as being above any of us who had to learn from life the hard way. They also thought of themselves as above any of us who were learning from life.  Yet my insight was, we all will eventually have to learn this.

I had finally looked AT the side of the pattern which had been the one I did not see at all in the first of these guiding dreams.  It was as if it might have been a privileged position, angelic, which I must have lost out on, — or was it, if I had gone full cycle, and finally come to it?

 We had started out as they did, and perhaps they, by not reacting and running away, made the right choice, and only we had to learn the hard way.  Or, perhaps, they still had to learn, and had not entered life for this yet.  I had to wonder.

But, I also had an impression that while some children of the Father chose to move on, in being teenagers, and not go out to live and learn in the world of men, others had seen it to be a way to learn what we all eventually needed to learn.  They CHOSE to go into Life.  They, we, had not reacted, but had chosen to go out into the world.  I felt this is what I had done, as many others with me had done.  But that one way or another, life teaches us things we can learn in no other way.

In still another dream, I tried to be a servant and a go-between for these teenagers within the household of the father, trying to connect them with the kitchen and soul development servant people, and the children in the garden. But, they remained unaware of them.  I also was going out into the world as they were, but I did not have the powers that they did.  I did believe that God, the Father also asked of them, and they did as they were asked, but, they also were still free to do as they pleased, without guidance, which they did not feel they needed, and without restrictions or correction.

The teenagers saw only themselves and the one area of the 4 there, that they were in, along with going out with higher powers into the world of men.  They saw me, if I was in that place, and was able to go out into the world as they did, but I was older, and they did not really trust me, or feel that I belonged among them, nor did I.  They also seemed to totally be unaware of any blunders or side effects of what they did out there, both when they meant well, and when they were just using powers any way they wanted to.

It was as if they had decided to stick with the privilege, sort of like letting their Dad support them, do the few things asked of them, and stay on as if others had in fact fallen away from God, when they really had gone to school.  But, they were not like the children who had decided to go out into life and learn what was being taught there. I could not have ever imagined this before this dream. I felt they were angels, and I was in fact, fallen away, I had lost the privilege of being like them.  Now, I had to wonder.

But, my impression was that the others who had chosen to enter life had not fallen away, it was much like choosing to go to school, not being sent.   In fact, there was a very strange concept to it. We seemed to start out in college, and each time, find out how much we did NOT know yet. So, to finally get through life was to realize how basic things need to be, like Kindergarten 101 was a kind of graduation.  Then, to go back over what we had learned was the Kindergarten – thru College direction, reconnecting to things we knew before.  It was as if this was why I had to realize it again, as if I was going back over it in the opposite direction.

Finally, in another dream, I came back in from the world, and to the side behind the shimmering curtain.  I said to whomever seemed to hear me, that so many of them play around because they have this power.  They show off, and they look down on people who are doing the best they can in difficult or impossible circumstances, as those people learn what life is teaching them.  Even when they mean well, they blunder around in what they do.  In fact, in many ways, they not only look like teenagers; they act like teenagers, believing that they know it all.  I said, that if I had the powers they have, I would sure do differently (and better) than I see them doing.  End of the sequence of dreams.

Be careful of what you ask for, you may get it.  I did have constant psychic ability and power, to use as I pleased, for 3 years, and until the next and final dream. Yet this too was something I had experienced before, and tried to use well, and failed.  I had lessons to learn.  I understood that after we, myself and the others being servants there, finally can come to be able to enter behind this shining curtain, only then are we to learn how to use the powers that can be ours.  There is such a thing as having the powers before we are ready, and I was about to find this out all over again, from what I had known and forgotten.

 

I do not consider this to be unique for myself.  We do not have our memories of what we may have already known, and seem to learn again.  We are all in the same boat, and in no way do I believe that what I had remembered is only there for me.  But, it is a privilege to be at a time when I am to reconnect to it now.

There were more things realized from within myself, but mainly, what followed next was in the outer things happening in my life.  It will not be easy to describe any of this.   I will try.

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