The River of Life dream, 1956, pivotal to my own sense of what I was doing *11th in series.


THE RIVER OF LIFE DREAM  1956,  the year I was 32.

I was floating above a river. I felt as if I had been there looking on, forever. I paid no attention to what was going on there; it was just the view, as if nothing I could see there had any meaning or relationship to me. But, over time, I began to notice a girl child in the river, downstream from my viewpoint above. She was thrashing around as if she felt she was drowning, but was barely keeping her head above the water. In a way, I cared, but felt that this had nothing at all to do with me.

After some more time, as if much more time had passed from when I first noticed the girl, I heard an old woman on the shore, on the riverbank at my right hand side of the river. She was shouting and shouting at the girl, to do this, do that, be careful, try harder. She seemed almost panic-stricken about the girl, but nothing she was saying or doing was any help to the child. I then knew that the girl child had quit listening to her a long time before, it was all just noise to her ears.

I began to be more concerned, and to look around more. On the other side of the river, I saw a female dog with her pups. She was doing a good job of mothering her pups, but was oblivious to anything outside of her small familiar place and home. I tried to get her attention, but she was totally unaware of me looking on.

I began to consider myself; I did not seem to have a body. I was floating there like an invisible cloud to anyone down there. I did not have arms or hands, or legs, yet I could see and hear. What else could I do?

Next, it was the first that I saw any connection for this third dream with the earlier two. The old woman on the riverbank, doing the shouting, was on the same side as the so-called guardian angels, and the side of the library books, from which I could not get my answers. From the first dream, it was the side I had looked FROM, but had not looked AT. I seemed to get the idea, this was the child’s mind, or even my own mind, associated to this girl child, but they were oblivious to me above them. But, the girl must not have been using her own mind, she was hearing admonitions that her mother and grandmother had seemed to yell at her over and over, until she had quit listening to the noise. But, her own mind was not working yet. It seemed to be my mind too, though, and I might be able to get it working.

Then, I looked to the other side of the river, at the mother dog and her pups. She was an admirable and beautiful dog, but not a human being. She did not know she had a mind, and she had no idea that the girl child was struggling in the river, she had never seen her. That struggle might have been emotional, but the mother dog had no concept or awareness of such a struggle going on.

Compared to the earlier dreams, the scene of the dog with her pups was on the side of the windows to the world, where life could be seen going on, with the sounds and smells, tastes, touch, of life. The first dream was parallel to it in the side of all the rooms where I saw my past as if they were contained separately in little rooms. Here it was the mother dog with her pups.

Then, the girl child struggling in the river would have been in the position where I had entered the first dream, and left it as a child with my husband also as a child. And, in the second dream, where I could not wake that child up, who was asleep at a desk in the study hall, now open to the central library area.

Then came the shocker. But in that case, my position, floating above, was over the end of the road where I saw such danger and threat, and in the Library dream, above where I had seen vivisection experiments, uncaring about humanity. But, I was above all that, floating free, but disconnected. I realized, in the dream, that this was the viewpoint and position from which I as a spirit could function. But how? Therefore, I was connected to the girl child, the old woman yelling, and even the dog with her pups. All of these were aspects of myself. And, they mostly were disconnected from each other.

As in all of the dream, it seemed a very long time before I moved to do something.

I went down to see each position, to look at the figure in it, more closely. I could not see any way to help the girl, nor could I get the old woman to notice me. But, I went to the dog, and got her attention. I got her to let me join with her, enter her body, and together we pushed a log into the river. I think it was mainly a way for the girl to grab hold of something, from the spirit, my own spirit, myself as a spirit. But, as the dog let me join with her, she became human, in the body I then could recognize as my own.

I then went back out over the river, and tried to get the girl to notice me, so I could tell her to take hold of that log. But, she was unaware of me, and unaware of the log floating near by. But, I noticed the noise, the yammering of the old woman, the noise of the mind. I knew I had to address this next. I floated over there, and again she was not hearing me, unaware of me. But, when I tried to enter her, join with her, she was accepting of me coming in. And then, like mind to mind she could know how she had sounded, and that the child had long ago quit listening to her. I got her to quiet down, and to only say what needed to be usefully said. It was then as if she was speaking normally, not yelling, and only saying in my own voice, “the log is right there by your hand, just reach out and grab hold of it“. But, still the girl was not hearing her.

Next, I had to go out by the girl child in the river. First, I tried to talk to her, but nothing worked until I entered her body, and listened to the voice of the mind, and blindly reached out and felt for whatever it might be out there that I could hang onto. And I did it. That was the end of the dream.

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