Response to someone who has their own similar self discoveries.


This is appreciated and will be shared.  I did have 3 to 4 years following each  guiding dream, which went as if the dream had a lot of info for me in a nutshell, and it took me that long to realize and to apply, discover, all it meant to me, each time.  I did not need help, it would have added confusion.  When I first read Jung, it was as if it was the greatest affirmation possible to me,  in that what I had experienced in my own life was known, and spelled out in how it had worked for others. 
 
But, to mention one thing more, when I told my husband how much it meant to me, he responded that I read one book and think I know all that the author was talking about.  He did not believe dreams  could  be guiding for anyone, and this was more like superstition. But, in time, I understood more of his early trauma, with a father who had mental illness, and eventual electrical shock treatments back in the early 1930’s.  It was never spoken of, but buried and denied.  I only found out that history from his mother after we were married, and his father had died.  I came to feel that my husband would rather have died than ever go  back over the childhood trauma.  Still true today, but on the everyday surface, we do well.  Married 68 years, and we belonged together for what we both were and still are as loving challenges to each other.  
 
I feel that the first dreams led to inner impressions surfacing to me, as if like a spring starting to flow, and washing out muck for that long, until it ran clear and clean.  With that, I dreamed as if my spirit looked on from above, and connected to my life, my body, my mind, my soul, as if I had not known they were mine, and yet, living my life, I had felt it was all  that I was, and my spirit was only waking up then, and in a way, more directive into my life.  It was not like what most glowingly describe as spiritual. It was  as if I was  separated in body, mind, soul and spirit, not even working as one, and discovering that I was of a whole, after all.  yet in conflict within those aspects of myself.
 
For ongoing dreams, it was as if I had come half way by then, and the rest was far more educational, or integrative within my own aspects which each functioned so differently.  It also was as if a spiritual window had opened, or a spiritual point of view and perspective increased.  Not ever intentional, but as if it was sort of gradually coming to be natural, as it never had seemed to be, before. Yet, as you say, there were the remembered experiences, as if it had been in my awareness, but I did not notice it that much or remember it that much.  It was as if new impressions then, also had remembered experiences to verify things like it earlier in my life, when I could still ask my parents if those things really had happened.  
 
It did go on as if the spiritual impressions still came after 1964, and the series of guiding  dreams seemed to have completed.  These still go on.  but, it is this that is most difficult to share, unless someone else can connect to things like it. 
 
It is here that it seems that the things to be seen, felt, glimpsed, are only from my single point of view.  If  someone else really can share, as different as what we have glimpsed seems to be, we get into Religion, what God is like, what prayer is, knowing we only see in part, and into a concept that with a  partner I came to call Structure and Process, of the development of our functioning into our fuller potentials.  
 
Structure and process seems to be the part of what we all learn, in being human, and in waking up to being spiritual beings too, in which it is the same for each and all of us.  But, the individual point of view is more and more distinct, and different, and in part—that is seeing in glimpses, knowing that there is so much more to it.  But in our differences, if we can share it, we all see into a more eternal and real spiritual aspect of our existence and potentials, and  we can only enlighten and add to what another sees in their own way.  All such differences are to be valued, and not taken to be contradictions to one another.  
 
I do read, but I found after 1964, or maybe later than that, I needed to be sure of my own impressions, meanings, experienced visions, first, and only then, add to it from others, not letting my own ideas and concepts be contradicted or dismissed.  I think, with my husbands doubts for any such ideas from me, I had to learn to not let them be undermined and lost.  It is not that I know, or have all the answers, instead, it is as if the more I have seen or glimpsed, the far greater is my sense of there being so much more that is still unknown, and perhaps unknowable now. 
 
For that reason, I do not dive in and read everything I can get my hands on at once, I take it in gradually, and do not let it take away my own sense of a spiritual reality.  It can increase it, always, then.  I learned this with a partner as we recommended and loaned books to each other, and both of us had to state and share our views so far, first, and then read what was seemingly more on the same subject, even if we were slow  to read what each of us sent to the other.  
 
I realize, now I have written this, I might as well put it in as a next blog.  Most of my blogs were written to someone else, first.  It says more than I have been able to put in words before.  Thank you for being someone I could write it to.  Sending to my journal too.
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