More detail or specifics on what was experienced, or illuminated, of brain stem nature.‏


I planned to add this to the  previous post, but, if you will allow for that connection, it also can stand alone.
There was so much more to the brain stem illuminations.  It had a right and a left side to it, partly new, more recognized, but not realized, aware, or conscious before then.

The right side of it was below, and yet still the direct and personal human experience.  It had an upper part to it, and a division with a lower part to it.  Above was about growing up and choices about what kind of a human being I would be.  Not any of it had been conscious.  Yet it was recorded, and accessible.  My main course had been to give up on taking advantage of others, just wanting what I wanted, in exchange for rewarding relating  with family members, even if they would have kept on doing  things for me.  It had taken time.  Below this was a lower nature, like being a predator, or like the animals, in instinctive or natural ways.  It was there in me, and never erased from me, but it was gradually outgrown.  It was not shameful, it was far more natural and childish, but I had to out grow what it could be. 

But there was other Left Brain Upper and Lower too, and it involved pets, or animals being animals, versus a tendency to personalize the pets, and see them as more than they really were.  I had tea parties, with catnip tea, with the cats and dolls. 

We  had one dog, a shepherd, who was able to go fetch the cows on command.  It was  in his nature, and neighbors would borrow him to train their pups to do the same.  He would go home with the neighbor, stay a couple of weeks, and just come home  again.  We would hear that he did exactly as they had wanted.

Yet, when we went swimming in the river, we would often pretend to be floundering in deep water, and he would swim circles around us until we grabbed his tail, and he would pull us to shallow safe water.  But, he did it  exactly the same way if we really were in trouble, or pretending, so  in time, it seemed unfair to play that way. 

I did have a sense of death when one cat  died.  It was like going between the molecules and atoms, with my perception or imagination, to where there was all the space in existence, with only potentials  in it, like little sparks of no solidity at all.  A vast and eternal space, with nothing in it but potentials.  The cat went back to where all cats would go,  and  yet  the potential still existed.  Same for my dog. 

But a deeper part of this on the lower left was that I had a green thumb, so to speak, all my life.  Even as a child, my mother let me plant my own wild flower garden, true, it did not survive beyond that summer, my brothers parked the bikes there too.  But, with the brain stem experience and illumination, this came to mind again.  It was left brain, in the sense of my own tuning in to life as it was all around me.  Not part of myself, but something I could relate to.  And, I did make it personal, for sure, and still use many house plants for décor.  But, there  really was a tuning in  going on, a way to augment and help life along, wishing it well, and  seeing it thrive.  But this connects to the broadest spectrum of life going on around us.  It underlies our own living, too, all the time.

I think I have put this in words as best I can, and will make a next post of it.

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