An introduction to how I came to write this blog.

I want to say how I get my impressions, and what I write.  At a point in time, my mind was full of noise, not my own, but like a radio picking up on a lot, but focused on nothing  unless it was loud, as if shouted at me.  I first got it quieted down, by relaxation, and trying to tune in only one thing at a time.  But, before long, with inner guidance, I realized I did not know what to ask about or listen to.  I then prayed to only pick up on, receive, if I needed to know.  Actually this came in the aftermath of  a dream I called the Library, from 1952.

I only get impressions that seem to be useful right then, but amazingly, it is far more clear and to a point than when I asked particular questions or tried to see something.  It is not just trying to discover, see or know, but it is equally as if I am being shown, for a reason.

My first impressions of a spiritual kind came at age 22.   Although I had a childhood vibrant with spiritual experiences, I did not learn from it, I merely took it for granted, without questions, until I finally realized, it was not that way for everyone else.  But, I had my share of trauma and shutting down, and then waking up again.  For me, at a tough time in our marriage, I was writing down little notations of things that were bothering me, and I did not know why, and by the time I came back to think about it later, I could not remember what it was, even from my note about it.

But, in just a few weeks, I began to get answers come to mind in the morning as I waked up, to what my questions or things that were bothering me, had been.  I was seeing into it, understanding the ways we related to each other differently, saw things differently, and took things differently.  I could examine my own responses, and do something, but had to understand and not think it was up to me to do something about someone else.   If I changed, it might spark change for others, anyway.

Suddenly I realized, this is like prayer being answered, even if I had not prayed.  It was as if a higher and divine source was paying attention to me, just for me, and I was receiving inner guidance.  It was, essentially, a religions experience, and yet it had nothing to do with religion as I had known it, and how it was presented to me as I was growing up.

It went along this way with 3 guiding dreams  of 5 which changed my life, for about 10 years, until I had worked my way through the trauma to where I was getting spiritual impressions more directly as my own, as well as ongoing inner guidance.   This was never in therapy, or like a recovery of any kind, it was more self discovery, self acceptance.

It was after that, that inner guidance took on a need to know basis into a larger cosmic view, and purpose, larger than I understood or grasped, but in which I could do my part.