An unexplained happening


Davey on his horsie, with his little brother Bobby.

I had an experience with my son Davey when I was twenty-two in the summer of 1949.

It triggered a series of five unforgettable guiding dreams from 1949 to 1962,

 I remembered childhood experiences, but, the main thing at the time was the process I had to go through to look within to know more about myself.

As I start on a new part of my blog, I am 93, to be 94 in Oct. of 2018. I hope this will connect to the experiences of others, and affirm that we each and all have our own Higher Potential, (and inner depths) These five dreams left a very strong impression,  even remembered vividly today.

The experience was this.

My oldest son, then two, had received a four-wheel wooden “horsie” for his birthday. We were in a rental upper flat. He was riding this on the upper back porch. The stairs were not blocked off; in fact, I only knew of expanding safety gates being available some years later. He had been told not to ride by the stairs. But he did, and I saw him topple off and start to fall down the stairs. I did catch him, before he hit the cement at the bottom of the stairs.

I told my husband when he came home from work, and it puzzled him. Finally he asked me to stand where I was when I had seen him ride off the top of the stairs, (which I did), and then go to where I was when I caught him. It still gives me goose bumps. I had seen him ride off the top step from standing in the kitchen doorway, upstairs, yet I had caught him at the bottom of the stairs, without any way to get there in the instantaneous way. My son was not even scared by it.

But, it shook me up terribly to realize this, because I had no memory of going from the one place to the other, nor would it even have been possible. But, my mind had not seen a thing odd about it. If my husband had not kept questioning me about it, I would have taken it for granted as good luck that I caught him like that. But, it was an inexplicable event, which I could not dismiss or explain away. I had to wonder, as my husband certainly did too.

For years, I never told anyone else about this. I was thinking that I could have put a kitchen chair down across the top of the stairway, as I did after that. And, here I had expected my two year old child to be careful, when I had not been. I was also worried about telling my husband, because he would see my negligence, the same as I had. But, it turned out to be an even bigger happening  than that.

Travel had an Intervention

Dear Friends, The  next event which seemed to be beyond our own doing, was what I needed.   Art was still in the Army-Air Force, but the war was over.  He, and  all the men in his group had been told they would have a 6 week  furlough and then their discharges. In the meantime, our first child. Dave, had just been born.  My parents and brother had saved up their gas ration coupons, all three took a vacation, and they drove from NY to GA. They stayed with us for a week or so in assigned housing.  Since I was expecting my husband to soon follow, I went home with them when they returned,  My baby was then only 6 weeks old.
But then, the furloughs were canceled, and the men were ordered to be ready to move to Columbus OH.  No individuals flew then, but most travel was by train and bus  I abruptly arranged to take a train back, with a ticket through to Atlanta, having to change trains in Grand Central Station.  In NY City, I  was told that the only direct train to Atlanta was by reservations made in  advance, and that I could not  get a reservation for at least a week later.  Other slower trains would make  many stops with some  places for me to make train changes, but  the trip  would take two days. I simply did not know what to do.  I  had only the money I knew I  would need.  No credit cards were known then.
There were no disposable diapers then, and  I only had minimal changes, for my baby. They suggested  that I appeal for help  at the YMCA.  I sent Art a telegram about the delay.
Desperately, I went back to a train scheduling window, and asked for the best way to go.  As the clerk started to wait on me, the phone  rang,  and the clerk told me that it was a cancellation  on the fastest and direct route, it would leave in 20 minutes. It seemed to be as if something was watching out for me. I was escorted through the crowds, and  made it in time,  I arrived  home, via Atlanta and a bus ride, and  I was the one who received the telegram, just before Art got home that same day.

We had a few days to pack, and then I was seeing him off on a troop train.  I tried to arrange my separate travel with a baby, but someone just shrugged, and put me on the troop train too, at no charge.  It was another surprising event that helped me. 

It was wonderful.  Any trip for me to the restroom roused an instant group of soldier protectors.  (Even the door was held shut for us.)  And, even though I breast fed my baby under a little blanket, a line to see him was constant.  Men  were even in tears, telling their stories.  Many had babies at home whom they had never seen, and they all were soon to go home.  We were soon in Columbus OH.
There is  a PS here too.  I had packed everything into his army trunk, but put two labels on it.  But upon delivery, one label was on another unmarked box.  I tried to say  it was not ours, but the delivery man insisted  he had to deliver it to us, and he  turned and left.  The box contained 30 pounds of shelled pecans, and was enough for all of  our  Christmas gifts for our families back home, or we  would  have had no gifts to send that second Christmas. 

Events which gave me Trust and Faith

To my Dear Friends,

Our life has had many recognizable coincidences and synergistic events which go beyond our own doing.   These I want to describe and share.
How I met Art, my husband now of 73 years.
It was the day I was to start work, at GE, in Schenectady NY, where I had been accepted for a job as soon as I had turned 18.  It was Oct. of 1942, after the US had declared War against Japan and Germany.  Men were being drafted for military service, and women were being actively recruited for being trained to take their jobs.  Even my mother worked there for one year, but soon returned to the lesser paying job as a teacher.
On the day, and afternoon I was to report in, there was a bus within GE, taking me from the entrance to the buildings along the main road in, to building 89.  The bus had people reporting to many buildings.  One  young man stood close to where I sat, we spoke to each other, and we were both going to building 89.  Yes, it was Art, of course.
We worked second shift,  3:30 to 11 pm.  It was not a full 8 hour day for either of  us by law, as we were only 18 and 19.  He was an Electrical Technician then, graduating with a 2 year degree from Alfred, NY. earlier that year.  We were almost at once a couple, having lunch together, and at closing time he also walked with me, probably a half mile, to building 52, where my Dad worked, for my ride home.  Dad worked 3:30 to 11:30.
It was Feb of 1943 that Art was drafted, and he was selected to train me to take his job.  Of  all the people on the GE bus,  and  working at building  89, there had been many coincidences, without our own planning about this.  But, it was meant to be.  I think we both did a lot of our “growing up” together.  We were married at my home, in Central Bridge NY. on Oct. 4, 1944.  I went back with him to the Army-Air Force base in Georgia, and lived with him starting then.
I did take the Civil Service exam, and was hired at the post,  Warner Robins Army-Air Force,  I was trained to check  “in-going and out-going mail”  for  the Adjutant General’s office, a good job, with a still higher security clearance than I had at GE.
One PS to this part of  my descriptions is that when Art and I had a much later vacation in Holland, we toured an underground museum of the WW 2 Dutch secret underground fighters.  We saw the same radio transmitter-receiver that we both had tested.  We both remembered how to operate it, and could and did show the staff of the museum how it worked.  We had our pictures taken with each and all of them, with their excitement and thanks.
I will use this as a first installment of our mutual story.  I keep thinking of more, and what order things happened.
Next is either our second Christmas, with a baby, or when I had a train ride home.  ???

Just a word.

I find that my  time is  very  limited by the  immediate  attention necessary into my daily life and relationships.  But I  am enjoying  life just as it is.    I thought I could simply take more  time for writing here,  but it is not working out for me.  I do  function as a caretaker of my husband, after our marriage of 73 years by now.  He, in  turn, is  helped in his self confidence and memory, and intentions to keep going, when we are depending on each other.  Still, We do have assistance as we are able to continue in our own home, getting  meals ourselves, and keeping going in a way  that seems “as usual”.  I do not know how  long or well we can manage this.  But,  so far, so good.  But I will write when  I can, email is more possible for me.


To those who share their experiences with me

Dear Jennie Cockell, and the Mutual Friends who told  us about each other.  Ceci, Miriam, for two.  My  son Alan bought me two of her  books, and I recommend them all to anyone still following here.  Her experience is to remember and prove reicarnation, and to do looking ahead.   This is not just psychic ability, it is Spiritual Functioning.  It is given, and guided, led along for those who have it.  And, it is what it  is, not what we  grab onto and hold to develop, and to demonstrate.

It gives us values.   Jennie wrote that once she tried to give mental directions to someone, and sure enough,  they did  the steps she had in mind for them to show her.  But, then  they  were confused and upset about having done things not out of their own  intention.  She Felt she must not ever do this to anyone.  I learned this too.

I had a similar experience, but I had no actual  intention to cause it, I merely  wanted a delay for my own convenience, not expecting it or trying to cause it, but when the several people who had been delayed did arrive, They were all confused, wondering  what had happened, and upset as if they must have caused it somehow.

I was made to see that it could be influenced without any  intention to do so, just the idea of it, was a cause, as if our real wants and wishes have power.  Eventually, I gave up on psychic abilities, but in time, I was given an unexplained happening where someone came to me for help, which I could give.  I seemed to know, as if to  understand, Spiritual Functioning is innate and  given, we must learn to use it wisely,  with  guidance, but we cannot give it up.  ——————  Yet People do, or fail to ever know it exists for them.

I will try to get back to writing in my blog, my dear friends.   With Love, Helena

If I can just say Hello to those who follow my blog, here I am. Each day is busy and full, with what it takes to shower, dress, and to keep up with details as I go along. My husband and I manage to live on our own, at ages 94 and 93. He has hung in there well with increasing memory loss, but we depend on each other for so very much.; Neither of us could go on here alone. We have some help. Not much so far. Say Hello to me ?

Still writing

I have a mixup on my blog right now, and wonder if I will post  this as a first blog in a new  site, or if it will add to the one I had.

More detail or specifics on what was experienced, or illuminated, of brain stem nature.‏


I planned to add this to the  previous post, but, if you will allow for that connection, it also can stand alone.
There was so much more to the brain stem illuminations.  It had a right and a left side to it, partly new, more recognized, but not realized, aware, or conscious before then.

The right side of it was below, and yet still the direct and personal human experience.  It had an upper part to it, and a division with a lower part to it.  Above was about growing up and choices about what kind of a human being I would be.  Not any of it had been conscious.  Yet it was recorded, and accessible.  My main course had been to give up on taking advantage of others, just wanting what I wanted, in exchange for rewarding relating  with family members, even if they would have kept on doing  things for me.  It had taken time.  Below this was a lower nature, like being a predator, or like the animals, in instinctive or natural ways.  It was there in me, and never erased from me, but it was gradually outgrown.  It was not shameful, it was far more natural and childish, but I had to out grow what it could be. 

But there was other Left Brain Upper and Lower too, and it involved pets, or animals being animals, versus a tendency to personalize the pets, and see them as more than they really were.  I had tea parties, with catnip tea, with the cats and dolls. 

We  had one dog, a shepherd, who was able to go fetch the cows on command.  It was  in his nature, and neighbors would borrow him to train their pups to do the same.  He would go home with the neighbor, stay a couple of weeks, and just come home  again.  We would hear that he did exactly as they had wanted.

Yet, when we went swimming in the river, we would often pretend to be floundering in deep water, and he would swim circles around us until we grabbed his tail, and he would pull us to shallow safe water.  But, he did it  exactly the same way if we really were in trouble, or pretending, so  in time, it seemed unfair to play that way. 

I did have a sense of death when one cat  died.  It was like going between the molecules and atoms, with my perception or imagination, to where there was all the space in existence, with only potentials  in it, like little sparks of no solidity at all.  A vast and eternal space, with nothing in it but potentials.  The cat went back to where all cats would go,  and  yet  the potential still existed.  Same for my dog. 

But a deeper part of this on the lower left was that I had a green thumb, so to speak, all my life.  Even as a child, my mother let me plant my own wild flower garden, true, it did not survive beyond that summer, my brothers parked the bikes there too.  But, with the brain stem experience and illumination, this came to mind again.  It was left brain, in the sense of my own tuning in to life as it was all around me.  Not part of myself, but something I could relate to.  And, I did make it personal, for sure, and still use many house plants for décor.  But, there  really was a tuning in  going on, a way to augment and help life along, wishing it well, and  seeing it thrive.  But this connects to the broadest spectrum of life going on around us.  It underlies our own living, too, all the time.

I think I have put this in words as best I can, and will make a next post of it.

Brain Expansion, by spiritual changes.

// Message body

I had originally written to an author of an essay article titled “Synergy”  It was about the many coincidences which occur with Synergic  connections between various  people.  The author was a  professor at Chapel Hills University many years ago.  I had begun to notice these connections, not caused out of our own intentions or doing, but larger than life, in some way.  As it  turned out, the Author wrote back to me saying that I should write to someone else who  had written  to him in much the same way.  This was in 1964. 

In a few months, from this introduction, we had finally both written to each other, with  seemingly almost nothing in common, except the subject at hand.  But, it began a connection between us that lasted for the rest of our lives.  It took us about 6 months corresponding by  long distance mail, to describe our different backgrounds and experiences for sharing.  We corresponded for 33  years, mostly every day.

We began to have these coincidences, this synergy in our sharing, our inner guidance, our insights, as if we were being guided and shown a same way, at the same time, with nothing prior to have led up to it.  Some dreams were with the same meanings to each of us, which we  could put in  words to each other, even if the dreams were not at all  alike.  We both felt the need, totally, to not let this interfere with what our daily lives had to be.  My marriage, and his own position as the oldest son’s responsibilities into the  lives of his widowed mother, his several siblings, and for 2 little girl nieces whom he inherited to  bring up for his widower brother. This lasted until the girls were  grown up, as he was the  main support and leader in his  family.  It began when  my sons were all in school, college, down to 6th grade.  But, even my husband did accept this relationship and constant corresponding, in some way beyond explanations.

In a way, my husband  did not ever want to hear about unexplainable happenings.

Over the years, eventually I visited his family, a few times from where my brothers lived back east, and I seemed to be accepted as  the woman in his life, with no one  questioning it.  For  some years, we talked on the phone for perhaps an hour, every Saturday morning, as my husband worked, and children grew up and went their ways.

This is all background  to what happened  next. 

We had not really admitted how connected we seemed to be.  But, at one point in time, we both had experiences which seemed to affect our brains.  We wrote  it out to each other, with our letters crossing in  the mail,  not read until after we had both told each other. 

He wrote to me,  that it was like a lightning bolt into the top of his head, down  into  the brain stem, sort of bringing the brain stem into  use or  awakening it, connecting it up with  the rest of his brain.

But my experience was very different.  I felt the sensations of a trickle  flow of energy back and  forth  sideways in my brain.  It was  like a tickle in the feeling.  It seemed  to  me to verify and then to amplify,  or light up the right and left brain  connections  already begun .  It was slow, as if just  the examples of far more rapid energies, but slowed down to be felt and noticed and defined.  I had no sense at all of the brainstem  connections, and he had no sense at all of the  right and left brain energy flow.

However, as our letters reached each other, I could “look into”  the brain stem  experience, and get the sense of what it was.  He could not, but he  understood all I came  up with.  As it if was his own experience. 

I did not  get the real meaning, gist, of what the  right and left brain feed back really was, but  he could see it, and then in describing it to me, it was as if I had the experience of it first  hand. 

It was only then, that we felt our connection and feedback went  far deeper, with more reality for each of us.  It was as if we were spiritually connected, and it was giving us the brain and body functioning  understanding

So, with these interactions, we both had both expansions, in our brains.  We felt it  as if there had been 4 sections of  our brains, or 4 rooms, and we distinctly then began to experience it as 8 sections or 8 rooms.  I still think this is a result of a  spiritual expansion, and not  commonplace.   

But, the main reason to write about this now, is  to tie it in with what I  could share with corresponding with Julian James, so many years ago, about brain stem experiences  and meaning. 

Brain Stem has to do with the body, body  sensations, things  the body learns  beyond the mind itself.  It has to do with sexual behavior, instincts. Such energies can be repressed at  a cost to what life can be, but they also  can run wild by nature, and need to be understood, and used with awareness and discretion, but they still have so much  power into life.

Right brain contains the original experience we have without it  being digested, or altered into what makes sense to us, and can be  explained.  Left  brain does the alteration into what will go into language, what will make sense,  be rational, and is the story we finally formulate about the experiences.  We need both, of course, and they need to work of a whole.  A sense of  reality forms in the left brain.  Raw experience is prior to a sense of reality about it.

I am now seeing the flow of Cosmic energy like a river, with a main stream, with its swirls, whirlpools, and quiet places, along with crashing on what seems to be the edges.  The raging river of my 3rd dream in this blog may well  have been my own sense of drowning in that stream, not just in life as it moved along. I did have a glimpse then of what my log that I could hang onto of that dream may have meant to me.

It was the switch-over from “school” teachings to all alike, into having one thing at a time come to me just as my own guidance. Yes, that was it. I never knew what that had been for me. 

Now too, I can see the groups who believe they are doing the raising of the energies, are not doing a thing about the actual energies, but they ARE aligning, and moving with the thrust of the energies, by this attempt. 

And, those who go to war are in some way placing themselves in that flow, at the crashing rock and hard place as if it must be done, and is the only resolution to be had.  Nothing changes but their position.

That is the point for anyone, it is our alignment, or lack of it, and our position relative to that flow of energy. When, no one sees there is a flow of energy, but it is sensed to some measure, by anyone, and by everyone.

Yet, it is not THAT there is this cosmic energy, as if it has an intent and directive as such.  It does not.  Yet, it began with the beginning of the existence of the universe, and the cyclic ebb and flow of it eventually containing our solar system and world, and with that, humanity, and with that, ourselves, one on one in our alignment and positions, as the flow moves along.  It had and has a  purpose, and it has proved to be a cause of  upheaval and change, in the physical world, and in our electrical energy in flowing motion even in our bodies.

Still, there was purpose, a cause in it, there was structure and process in it, and in all that has existed.  And, as impossible as it may seem, that purpose, cause, structure and process, is in evidence into every bit of this huge universe, down to the smallest particle of life or substance. Yet it seems to be questioned, in  comparison to our own  wills and self direction, when there inevitably is / are both. It can seem to work as a personal guidance, or not, and it can work as oneness with all that exists, and yet as ourselves individually, and as both. Perhaps, now I wrote this, I can post it.

I do see this producing change in humanity,  because like a solar flare, its electrical effects cause change in human brains and bodies, same as changes by solar flares into the world’s electrical systems.  It will in effect, raise human consciousness, and being aligned to it and accepting it, will  help each one of  us.